A Week In Outfits

Hi again. Wow, it’s been a pretty long time – I can’t believe I haven’t posted on here since Christmas!

To make up for my absence, here’s 7 days’ (give or take) worth of outfits in one post. It’s like keeping a clothes-based diary. I’ve been trying to go for a more grown up, profesh type of look lately, but also, I really need to pare down my wardrobe and try and make what I do have work for me better, so, I’m kind of hoping that this exercise will help. As you might expect it’s pretty pic heavy, apologies in advance.

Monday

Lately I seem to have gravitated back towards a more sort of vaguely vintagey secretarial femme look – the sort of saucy librarian meets standard bowlie kind of thing – that used to be my default look for several periods of my life. I think basically my style is a sort of venn diagram of goth, glam and old style ladylike schmindie nerd (for want of better terminologies), and Monday’s outfit is a good compromise between these warring factions, I reckon:

image_2 image_3 image_4

Turns out it’s quite hard to take a picture that shows off your blouse without it just being a picture of your chest. Shocking revelations, I know. Also check out my scabby messy floor yes well whatever. Realness.

I don’t know how well you can tell, but, the cardigan is saftey-pinned nearly shut in order to hide and hold back all the extra swathes of material this (Joanna Hope) blouse has got in the shoulder area. I’m going to have to take it in at some point, but I already moved the ties from the waiast to the neck so I couldn’t be arsed. I think it was meant to be a sort of voluminous beachy peasant tunic on a straight sized person (I can’t remember but I think it’s billed as a 14) which tied in at the middle, not a glamorous pussy bow blouse on a 20/22 sized top half.

Acres of extra material in the shoulderal region is something we’re going to encounter a lot in this post and those following, because I went nuts in the Modcloth 70% off sale, and bought a million billion things, almost all of which turned out to be  either too big in general or just a really off shape — in most instances by making the shoulders the same size as the hips, which on the 3x or a 4x means shoulders like Gossamer the Looney Tunes monster.

Who, incidentally, I remember being strangely fascinated with as a child, and who it turns out is a lot more glamorous in some episodes than I recalled:

The cardigan is from H&M a few years ago and is too small for me now (a 16) but wevs yolo. The skirt is River Island. Satchel from a charity shop, and really knackered and falling apart.
The lipstick is Revlon but because I didn’t think this post through I can’t remember what shade. I’ll edit this when I get home after I’ve looked it up.

Tuesday

“Is it raining? I hadn’t noticed.”

image_7 image_9 image_10 image_11

It’s almost impressive how bad I am at taking photos of myself. Turns out the Timer Cam app is a bit unexcellent yeah? And don’t bother going for the paid version thinking it will be better, because I tried that, and if anything it’s actually worse somehow.

ANYWAY. Rain happens. And I really effing love see through plastic clothing. This coat is rubbish though because it’s really badly made and keeps coming apart at the seams because the person who made it hasn’t used any piping to join them, and it doesn’t have any buttons and does up with velcro (velcro! on a coat! really weak velcro at that!), the tie bits that are meant to tighten the (massive) hood are made of elastic for some baffling reason so obviously when you pull them they just stretch rather than pulling the hood closed, and it is essentially modelled on a dressing gown as a template as far as I can see. I bought it for £70 off ebay because it was the only plus sized plastic coat I could find at the time and the pictures made it look misleadingly legit. MORE FOOL ME. However, one surprise bonus of having to constantly sew it back together is discovering that sewing vinyl is really really easy! Who knew! I always assumed you’d need some kind of specialist needle or something and it would be really tough, but it’s fine. SO. I’m totally going to buy some plastic sheeting and some normal sewing patterns and just make everything I’ve ever wanted out of plastic and screw you high fashion bastards who think they fat girls don’t deserve unusual, interesting, out-there clothing.

*cough*

Satchel as before, cardigan from H&M when I was about 20 or something and also too small as a result, dress from Modcloth (one of the few that fit perfectly and one of my new favourite items), and shoes from Doc Martens. These were horribly expensive, just, vilely so, I felt like such a twat for buying them. I love them immensely, but, in addition to that, because I’m somewhat between sizes when it comes to shoes (probably a 6 1/2 but not that many places do half sizes and when they do they seem to sell out quicker, maybe they make less of them? idk) I sized up on a gamble and wouldn’t you know it the 7 feels really loose on me, but also, I was too in love with them to send them back (they’d run out of 6s by then) so, making my own problems as usual.

Wednesday

image_12 image_13 image_14

I was too lazy to take photos properly so here are some really great ones of me sitting down in my office, because strip lighting is delightful. Radical visible rolls action *fist in the air*.

On a related note, surprised myself with how chestzilla  I am in that last pic.

This cardigan is from M&S and is sooooooo snuggly and delicious feeling to wear. People keep stroking me because it’s so fluffy. I sometimes wear it in bed or with me jimbles or whatever because mmmm comfy. I love the colour too, sort of lilac/beige/grey — like Lime Crime’s ‘Chinchilla’ lipstick which is a really intense shade of that, it almost reminds me of viscera, which, probably says some deeply alarming things about me. I didn’t wear it on Wednesday (I wore MUA lip velvet in ‘Serene’), but here is an old pic of me wearing it with my lovely cardie (don’t worry I got it off ebay not from them direct):
chin chilla varnish

The dress is an old black t-shirt material one that would probably look quite smart really on a thin person but on me always makes me feel like an old lady in a nightie. I was trying to reclaim its smart potential though so I classed it up with a belt (I have no idea where this came from, I think it was free with a dress I got off ebay?) The grey nail varnish is a result of me mixing a few different shades together in a ferrero rocher tray — which is something I like to do in general and thoroughly recommend. (see above) #obeselifestyletips

Thursday

This was another nightie ish day — I don’t have any pictures because I was just phoning it in epically and genuinely forgot. Wore a black and white leopard print maxi dress from M&S which is one of my comfy but smartish summer staples, with the Asos skeleton jumper. Here are some old pics of the two items — these were the only ones I could find of either item (shout out to my boyfriend Gareth modelling my jumper).
holiday dress spookygareth

As you can see the dress is fairly low cut, and I didn’t even notice, in my state of total phoning-it-in-ness, until I got to the office in the afternoon and took off my jumper, that I had totally forgotten to wear a bra.
Now, for those of you without large boobs, you might not realise, this is, just weird: it would be like going out without your trousers on and not realising. It just feels different and wrong. Evidence that I was totally not in touch with reality. By the time I got home my back was feeling unbrilliant I can tell you.

Friday

Further into the realms of Modcloth we go, and encounter, the ill-fitting yet totally cute dress:
image_15 image_16 image_17
Cardigan: H&M men’s small (borrowed off Gareth); Belt: came with a Bettie Page dress I got off ebay

I don’t think you can tell with the cardie done up like that and belted in but this was sooooooo big on me, like, worn without accessories it just hung like a sack and slipped off the shoulders. Going to have to take it in. I love the pattern though, makes me look like an 80s summery bedspread (in a good way!)

Saturday

Two outfits today, because I had a daytime one (went for lunch with my best friend and his boyfriend; was probs needlessly overdressed for the pub with some mates, #standard #yolo), and an evening one because Gareth was having a barbecue at our house and invited some friends over.

The first ensemble was kind of an homage to Freddie Mercury in I Want To Break Free

image2image1 image12

Jacket: Papaya, via Depop

T-shirt: Primark

Halter bra: ebay

Bandeau: cutting the bottom off an old t-shirt my boyfriend got given free at a local festival he worked at

Skirt: Simply Be

Lipstick: mixing Illamasqua ‘Forbidden’ with MUA ‘Serene’

image5 image6 image7 photo 2

Dress: Modcloth (w/ voluminous upper body/shoulders, see above)

Belt: came with a different dress, also from Modcloth

Cardigan: Gareth’s, as before

Shoes: £1 from Leeds market!

Sunday

No pics mostly cause I was slightly hungover and also slouching around in my black Casiotone tee (which I love, and which I recently wore to a house gig and three different people, out of the tiny amount there, came up to me to say they had the same top — bringing socially awkward people together, hurray!) and a pair of old (plain black) leggings with holes in, with my makeup half off. I went to put the recyling out, thinking, I wont put a coat over, no-one will see me, only to be greeted by someone standing right outside my front door waiting for the neighbours to come out of theirs.

I’ve been vaguely putting off blogging for everrrrr in general, and then, last week, with regard to my academic blog,  I decided enough shilly-shallying, I was going to start a New Thing in my life: #AcWriBloMo, or academic blogging month, where I got a load of my other researchery friends to commit to doing a blog a week for a month with me, because misery (well, laziness and stage-fright anyway) loves company! And in addition to this, it occured to me after I had set the plan in motion, I could use this to get my momentum back on other blog projects as well – such as like this one here, for instance.

Thank you for joining me on this long meandering account of my week’s wardrobe. Apologies that it has been so pic heavy, and that so many of them are ~bad or whatever. But the thing is, I thought about this quite a lot, and I realised that if I kept worrying about either me or the pictures looking appropriately styled and fashiony etc, first of all I would never post anything and my hiatus would just go on and on, and secondly, it would just be buying into that whole you’re never good enough, you always have to be perfect, you can’t show what you’re _really_ like etc — so, here is the real me, multiple chins, bags under eyes, sweet wrappers on the floor, messy bedroom, bad lighting, dodgy blog layout, blurriness and all. No filters, no spanx, just a fat woman who loves clothes, existing in public and not letting ~society stop her.

I’m planning on keeping up this outfit of the day type record, because, I think it really will help me buy less but also be less lazy about fixing/altering etc all the stuff I have already that I keep not being arsed to improve. All being well, I plan to do a fatshion blog one a week this coming month as well as a (semi)academic one. They wont necessarily be weekly OOTD type roundups, like this one, and if anyone reading this has any suggestions for themes or stuff they would like to see me wearing then go ahead and let me know.

I Am The Lizard Queen

Yeah so apoloz re the whole extended gap thing. I finished moving house and then immediately got really ill and couldn’t get out of bed for like a month and a half or something ridic like that and then straight after my phone got stolen which was my only means of taking pictures, so. This post is mostly going to be very recent, but with a couple of pics from before I got sick because they go with the theme, which is, GREEN and/or SHINY.

image

Lipstick: Serpentina by Lime Crime (off ebay)
Dress: Simply Be (I must offer my thanks to my friend Daisy for rescuing it from peril and nonsense as a result of a delivery mix up)

In the words of Fallon from Scary Go Round, a highly polished bottom is a serious cross to bear:

z2

And I appear to be being photobombed by some sort of portal to Hell. Perhaps that explains the following Vampira sequence:

z3 z4

And continuing the theme here’s a hat I made for my friends Sarah and Robert’s wedding. I would take some pictures of me in it, but I can’t cause I lent to a friend (confusingly, also called Sarah, and also for a wedding).

MILLINERY: JUST ANOTHER THING THAT I’M GREAT AT.

My newwww coaaaatttt from Collectif, which I am delighted with:

image_7 image_10

Part of my New Year’s resolutions are the promises of getting better at taking pictures of myself wearing stuff (I CANNOT seem to get a picture of all of me that is in focus and properly lit), sorting out the layout (I have no idea what is going on with this) and updating this blog more often thus preventing it being such a photodump each time.

And finally, I leave you with a festive farewell, and wish you a maximumly enjoyable festivus:

Cardigan: H&M

Dress; belt: Tu (from Ebay)

Necklace: Charity

Handbag: Charity

Ring; cheeky grin: Inherited from my mum

Orange Is The New Black

This title has been an inveitability; it’s probably just as well I got it over with this early on! : D
I always used to completely loathe the colour orange. So much so that I would have recommended it as a dealbreaker for checking whether or not I had been replaced by a robot/clone/evil twin/doppelgänger etc. But in the last year or so I have suddenly found I absolutely love it.

I apologise in advance for how pic heavy this post is; I got smartened up for a conference on Friday, and then my Asos order came last night so I was excited to show you a couple of my new ones.

IMG_3048

Happy October everyone! #itsthemostwonderfultimeoftheyear

 IMG_3043

So Velma from Scooby Doo.

Jumper: Asos (Mens dept)
Dress: Asos (Curve)
Leggings: Primark
Socks: Ebay
Docs: left behind at my house by a friend (some friend I am; I really should give them back!)

    IMG_3031 IMG_3030 IMG_3029 IMG_3023 IMG_3022 IMG_3028 IMG_3026 IMG_3025IMG_3014

Jumper: Vintage (via Etsy)
Earrings: Vintage (via one of those second hand stalls in Angel when I was on Sarah’s hen do)
Skirt: Asos Curve (absolute fave; I wear this every other day pretty much)
Tights: Primark (FELL DOWN ALLLLL DAY LONG, ugh. Only prevented from total structural collpase by wearing bike shorts over the top. These have a date with the scissors and becoming some makeshift stockings.)
Shoes: M&S (super comfy & I like the style a lot; you can’t rly tell here cause I’m bad at getting my feet in pics but they’re part leopard print and part suede-effect)
Scarf (in final pic): Pound shop tablecloth, as before (I MUST WARN YOU THO, this has actually given me a rash! D: So maybe not the top fashion tip I had previously thought it to be.)

Put some goth on it

Are you sad because your face is all blurry and also your outfit is quite boring?

IMG_2985

Despite going double leopard with the dress and belt and having a big gold necklace?

THEN MOPE NO MORE, MY FRIEND! Like most things in life, all outfits can be improved by a liberal application of GOTH TAT.

IMG_2991

The scarf is actually a poundland Halloween table decoration (see below):

IMG_3011

Featureing ectoplasm!

Featuring ectoplasm! And mess.

IMG_2996

I like this one cause it looks like I’m in a opera. Also, the observant among you will notice the big stack of murder books.

IMG_3001

IMG_2999

My new favourite earring combo.

(And the hip new ‘drawing on my hand while bored’ pioneering long-lasting body makeup, aka fountain pen ink)

The middle skeleton has been a solid fave for about 10 years, but I just found the tiny and big skeletons whilst unpacking. Which reminds me:

OH MY GOD I take it all back. Any time I have ever been disparaging about anyone else’s ability to take pictures of things, well, on those occasions I was being a twat. I’m really sorry about how bad all my pictures have turned out. I think partially my eyes have been retrained by Instagram to think any picture of me without a filter is horrendous, whereas, you know, back in the olden times there were no filters. But yeah, moving: I think it’s possible that all the light bulbs in this house are cursed; I don’t remember selfies being such a ballache in my old house? AH, GATHER ROUND, let me tell you a tale of the old house. Most of the new house is covered in half unpacked boxes — and has no flat surfaces that aren’t bejunked as well — which doesn’t make taking a decent, uncluttered photo very easy.

I’ve just moved from Leeds to Birmingham, so, hit me up Birmingham people if you wanna be friends, on the admittedly flimsy basis of some pictures of me in outfits? Man you’re SHALLOW. By which I mean, er, you can find out more about me (most of it bad) on twitter, I’m @burnyourbones.

You may have also noticed the ‘half hive’ thing I’ve got going on. This is because I put white toner on my hair, which if I get the chance I like to try and let dry in, but clearly yesterday was not the day for that since I had to be on campus for various reasons, so, I pinned up the damp side. The last time I had long hair (I’m trying to grow it out from a hilariously ill-advised pixie cut I gave myself about 2 years ago) I did this look a lot as well as a wussier alternative to the part shaved look. Good for showcasing GIANT EARRINGS with (they were so loud, I felt bad for the guy sharing an office with me! memo to self: not library compatible)

Now I have this song stuck in my head which is LOVELY so good then:

Dress: Primark

Belt: Dorothy Perkins (just last week, so they still have them)

Scarf: Poundland

Cardigan: H&M but it’s actually my boyfriend’s

Earrings: various different pound shop keyrings + paperclips (the lazy free dorkpunk version of earring findings)

Ring: Primark (also still in I think?)

Lipstick: Black Cherry by Revlon (but srsly if you’re thinking of getting this, I would strongly urge you towards The New Black by 17; I would be wearing that instead but I can’t find it cause MOVING, BAH.)

This is the way; step inside.

image4

So, hey, my name is Het, and this is my new fatshion blog.
I’m a PhD student studying murderers and teaching film, cause I’m wicked badass like that but also well dorky. I’m fat and I like wearing as much Halloween tat, as many sequins, and as much leopard print as possible, ideally all at once. Today I have accidentally gone out with three different items of clothes with skulls on. Beautiful.

image3

This is my face, looking quite grumpy. It turns out taking selfies and using wordpress is actually not as easy as it seems.

I don’t know if I am doing this right, and tbh my poses are well awk. And yes terrible consumerist paen to capitalism yes wevs. But for the last 3 years I’ve been wanting my own place to post outfits and fashion stuff and all that, so here goes. Hopefully I will figure it out as I go along!

This guy is currently my personal guru of #yolo desicisons legitimisation for mental health and beyond:

1

What’s that Limmy? You want me to post a bunch of pics of myself in outfits? Well ALRIGHT THEN. Gonna bosh straight in there with my VBO (visible belly outline; all the cool fats are showing it off these days).
    image2imageimage5

Glasses: Tom Ford
Skeleton volleyball t-shirt: H&M
Sequin panel skirt: Asos Curve
Skull lace jumper: New Look
Coat: Sea Salt
Skull flats (you can’t rly see the pattern in that pic): Primark